Unbreak My Heart
UNBREAK MY HEART – Effects
When one is in love one begins by deceiving oneself and ends deceiving others, that is what the world calls a romance.
Oscar Wilde
Desperate people – The final group of people who are most vulnerable to heartbreaks are desperate people. The evil in this part of the world is thinking that some people have problems because they have attained a certain age without getting married. This has led so many people into getting into relationships that was doomed to fail from the beginning. What makes you think you have a problem at 35 or even 40? Is that reason strong enough for you to rush into marriage with a 25year old that runs away with your money and you complain of heartbreak?
Read the rest of this entry »
No one can change your world but you
As I woke up this morning it occurred to me that i was way behind my goals. of course i have been able to meet some but the ones I haven’t met were way beyond me.
I tried thinking through what i had been doing all along and it occurred to me that i had focused on the less important goals at the expense of the most important ones that could turn things around.
I was doing a lot of good things which were not right. I was spending hours counseling people and helping them out of their issues without making them pay for it. Meanwhile i was struggling to meet my financial goals yet couldn’t make people pay for my services.
of course it gave me so much pleasure to help people but what of the hours lost while trying to solve these problems? I am sure God will replace and repay me right? But He also punished some guys for not trading(making money with their talents)
It then dawned on me that God was not responsible for my inability to meet my goals I was the one responsible for not organizing my time and life in such a way that i would focus on first things first.
So i don’t know what you are going through at the moment. You might want to blame people and situations around you for where you are. the truth is none can change your world but you.
Do you want to blame your boss or a hostile working environment i want you to know that a thermostat conforms the environment to itself so no one can change your world but you.
Don’t even blame the witch in the village if you are in Africa because the greatest witch against you is the one you see in the mirror everyday.
No one i repeat no one can change your world but you so strategize, prioritize, get it right and make things happen. take responsibility and follow your dream irrespective of what people say.
let them call you names, stingy, difficult to see or whatsoever. Place a prize on what you have and trade with it. A banker solves financial problem while you solve human problems. Get paid for it but of course devote some time to helping the less privilege.
You can! You must ! and you will!
and if you are procrastinating get up and make it happen now.
and remember if you get up to change your world heavens will open upon you and everything will fall in place.
But someone is asking how do i change my world the answer is simple. change yourself and your world will automatically conform
I love you all and my son(a better version of me) sends his love to all of you
keep making it happen.
What a World
Have you heard the latest statistical projection that says ‘if nothing is done, 75million Nigerians will be living with HIV by 2020′.
The question we should be asking at the moment is what is being done?
Once upon a time the message was ‘if you no fit hold body….use condom’ and while we were yet to solve the riddle of our inability to hold body the tune became ZIP UP. But the question young people are asking is ‘How do we zip up when we couldn’t hold body before now?
Are we really serious about this AIDS thing or we are just deceiving ourselves?
How do we hold body when all we see everyday are sex stimulants; how do we hold body when parents and religious organizations are still very quiet on this sexuality issues.
how do we hold body when the people who should have helped us pay our school fees are insisting we sleep with them?
How do we hold body when 192 out of 200 young people surveyed were sexually abused and have had more than one sexual partner?
As i write this at the moment over 106 girls are being raped in south africa.
What a world where the people who were meant to protect us are the ones destroying us?
what a world where once money is released to fight a plague emergency NGOs spearheaded by the people at the top spring up to siphone the money?
What a world where we have no respect for individuals and wouldn’t mind destroying innocent souls as long as we satisfy our wandering hormones.
what a world where we are not willing to assist the vulnerable provided our family members are not affected.
But in this same world we have decided to effect a change by gathering 2000 young people come 20th september in Lagos Nigeria as we seek to determine our sexuality and preserve the future.
In this same world; great things still happen
The Epistle of Praise in the month of June 2008
Praise, an apostle of Sexual Purity by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus.
To New Naija, my dear sons and daughters, Grace, mercy and peace from God the father and Christ Jesus our Lord.
The Spirit warns expressly that in the month of June perilous times shall come for men shall be sexually pressured more than ever and women will feel more sexually pressured.
Many who would not understand positioning may surprise themselves by falling in the face of temptation and many who have been struggling may not be able to hold their body this month. This is because the prince of this world has released so much venom and pollution into the atmosphere such that men would begin to compromise their quiet time, and go several days without prayers.
Men will become so busy that they would not pay attention to their closet life. Secret and besetting sins will be the other of the day and as a result of continuous struggling with sin and the fall of many respected people, the love of many will wax cold.
But he that endureth till the end shall be saved because there is still a balm in Gilead and the hand of the Lord is not too short to save.
Let the married men among you take heed lest you fall into extra-marital this season but know that after June there will be summer so keep your eye on summer and refuse to fall this season. Avoid compromising situations and questionable privacy. Communicate your feelings to your accountable friends and know that you have all it takes to stand this season.
Friends i hear expressly that the devil has asked for permission to sift you like the wheat but I have prayed for you so that you may stand and when thou art converted strengthen thy brethren.
To the singles among you, there is an exchange going on at the realm of the spirit. Every sexual intercourse is an exchange in this month of June and the target is your destiny.
As we build towards 2025, the devil is more angry that the Lord has put solutions for the problem of this nation inside of you and he has vowed to take that solution away from you so that you can become ordinary.
Remember that Mike Tyson was referred to as Iron Mike Tyson until he compromised his sexuality and he became a punching bag in the hands of an unrated boxer.
Learn from Governor Spitzer the former governor of New York who compromised his sexuality and lost not only the governorship but also bid farewell to the future prospect of a shot at the white house. Remember he was displaced and replaced with a black man who was also blind.
The devil is out to steal what God has put in you to make 2025 a reality but he will come after you in the form of the closest person to you. The lady you least expected or even the man that you respected so much.
Let he that has ears listen to what the spirit is saying to the church.
And to our wounded soldiers, i mean those of you that have fallen in the course of the year. This is not the time to give up becos i see a grace released on your behalf for restoration. I sense the season of Jubilee in my spirit where all that the enemy has taken shall be restored unto you. However pay attention to your sexuality this season and learn to open up to elders that can help and strengthen you.
I commend you unto God and the word of His grace that is able to keep you from falling and preserve you all through this month of June. To him be all the glory for ever and ever.
Greet Deolu Akinyemi and Tope my fellow burden bearers for me and the whole house of Generis solution.
My young people, do your best to stay out of trouble this season and to Uncommon Man Network do not forget to take the parchment i left in thine house along.
The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be unto you.
Your brother
Praise Fowowe
STATE OF EMERGENCY – ECHOES FROM THE CHILDREN – 3
STATE OF EMERGENCY – ECHOES FROM THE CHILDREN
The question we should all be asking right now is ‘Where were the parents when the children were going through all these’? Before I go on I need to tell you a particular boy who narrated how he brought his friends from school and were talking about the ‘courageous’ girl in their class only for his father to come in and join in the discussion. The only problem was that while the father’s definition of courage was confident and bold; the children’s definition was ‘a big breasted lady’
Uncle Praise,
My greatest secret that my parents must not know about was the day I was impregnated by our neighbor. I was disappointed in myself. It was very painful when I had to undergo the abortion but I had no choice. I still feel the guilt each time I go to church but haven’t been able to open up to anyone. This is the first time I am talking about it and I feel better.
K (17)
Mr. Praise,
I have told you this before but if you have forgotten, it was the day I woke up and found my sister’s husband trying to force himself on me. I tried to resist him but everyone was asleep, I fought him but he was more powerful than me. Since that time he has always been buying gifts and telling me how good my body looked. I have avoided him ever since but haven’t been able to tell anyone. Should I?
T (16)
Mr. Praise,
I am 14 but the problem is that my elder brother doesn’t allow me rest every night. We live in a one room apartment. He has been touching me every night. I have not been able to shout because I don’t want my mummy to beat him. I have warned him to stop but he keeps doing it everyday. Me I am afraid to tell my parents o.
G(14)
Hello sir,
Thanks for this great opportunity because I know my parents read your column but they won’t know I am the one. If I become a mother I would get so close to my children and treat them as my priority. I feel what some of us go through is the result of what our fathers do to other people’s children.
My father has molested my friend before and I see him running after campus girls. He tries his best to protect us but the truth is I doubt if there is still a virgin in our house any longer. For me it was my father’s driver that sexually abused me for a long time before one of my teachers at school took over. I hated both of them but couldn’t speak up because my mother was a career woman. I have had 4 failed relationships. I gave them all my heart and my body but was used and dumped. Now I have vowed never to allow any man touch me again. My father brags about me but he doesn’t know me.
B(18) Conclusion
This is not for us to begin to take our children for virginity test or to start threatening them. It is for us to know that these things are happening around us and for us to get closer to our children. A lot of us have left our children in the hands of strangers who are messing them up but the truth is that nobody will ever love your child more than you so we have to create enough time to relate with our children; be in tune with the current slangs and what they mean; see the movies they see and explain what you’d rather keep quiet about; show them the way by being the right role-model; create an enabling environment where they are free to be themselves knowing fully well that we love them; and above all please correct in love and still love them even when you discovered they have gone beyond the normal boundary.
I love you all and wish you all the best as we try to win our children back.
STATE OF EMERGENCY – EPILOGUE
STATE OF EMERGENCY – EPILOGUE
It is a wonderful day my wonderful people. I can’t but appreciate you for your encouragement messages and wonderful mails. One thing that is so clear to me right now is that we have all come to appreciate the fact that we need to pay more attention to our children and I know we will have better families if we can do just that.
I thought I’d concluded the state of emergency series last post but up till now I keep getting more mails from children who are willing to bare their minds on their secrets. I was also shocked to discover that children were not the only ones that responded a few Dads and Mums also joined their children to share their secrets. I must say that I appreciate your sincerity and I hope you will carefully follow what I asked you to do.
I am not really going to say much today as a lot has been said already however some of us were still asking for more advice on this state of emergency and that is why I am writing this.
The first thing I would like to say is that there are different approaches to different problems.
For those of you that have new children my advice for you is to devote more time to bringing up your children. I often say to young couples that there is no point giving birth to a child that you won’t have time for. I can understand the fact that we really need to make money but money can never take the place of the care and attention that you child deserves.
The truth is no one can be trusted enough with your child as you must have seen from the echoes from the children. Most of the perpetrators of the child sexual abuse were close family relations. I know of a pathetic case in which a new born baby’s tummy started swelling. The child was taken for different treatment until it was discovered that it had to do with the accumulation of semen that the child had swallowed. It was later discovered that a certain guy within the family that the mother was fond of leaving the baby with was always having oral sex with the baby and would make the baby swallow his semen. The baby died as a result of this.
I want to repeat the fact that nobody is worthy of your trust. The only person you can trust your baby with is you. And in case you have to leave your baby or child with one person or the other I will advice that you bond properly with your child such that it becomes very easy to ask him/her come innocent questions of which you require innocent answers. For example the predator(abuser) will usually instruct your child never to tell anybody about the abuse if she/he wants to keep getting more sweets.
You can ask your child if anybody gave her a gift in the course of the day or if there was anything that happened that she was told not to tell anyone(maintain an innocent look). Because children are very innocent you are most likely going to hear her say ‘Uncle Tj touched my ‘Bom-bom’ and asked me not to tell anyone’
It is not difficult to get your children to talk provided you are willing to ask the right questions.
My second advice is for those of us with teenage children. Please don’t get so busy not to know the latest slang that young people use and their meanings. I will also advice you to ask your son to bring his friends home while you carefully observe them from afar. It will be so easy to detect the child with the right values and wrong values.
Finally you need to get close to your child enough to know when she is being disturbed by the opposite sex. The first person that should date your daughter is you as a father so take her out; find out what she already knows about sex and tell her the truth about sex.
If your child has already been abused, or was one of the children that responded to my ‘echoes from the heart’. I think the first step is to apologize for being too far away from them after which you go ahead to assure them of your care henceforth. Don’t shout when you discover some shocking secrets, what has been done has been done. You only need to manage what has been done and get your child to talk to a counselor if you can’t do it by yourself.
If you have a daughter that has never told you of being disturbed by a guy or your son has never told you of a particular girl that gets his attention. Don’t assume that all is well; it simply shows that they are not free to share their intimate affairs with you. And once they are no longer free to discuss their vulnerable states with you it is only a matter of time before they arrive at a STATE OF EMERGENCY.
Note – I will advice every parent to visit a local book store and get some new books on parenting and child psychology. It will go a long way in helping us through the different stages of our child’s development. I also recommend for every family to start their ‘Open day’ where every member of the family is free to express intimate issues and get solutions from within the family. you sud get a copy of the Undressing Sex DVD(a comprehensive sex education manual for every home) you may call 08037269483or buy online at www.booksng.com to get it delivered to you anywhere in the world
STATE OF EMERGENCY – ECHOES FROM THE CHILDREN – 2
STATE OF EMERGENCY – ECHOES FROM THE CHILDREN
I have dedicated this edition to what some of our children have been sharing with me that they wish their parents never get to know about them. Yet they know they still need the parental love that can help them out of these situations. I have deliberately omitted the names because I promised them that I wasn’t going to publish the names.
Read the rest of this entry »
STATE OF EMERGENCY
STATE OF EMERGENCY
I am so sorry for not updating this blog since. I have been very busy with my Undressing sex project lately trying to get the sex education DVDs into more homes. So sorry my people.
I got an SMS that got me crying (I am a very emotional person). It came from a 15year old girl and it reads;
‘Good evening. I’m just 15years old and I can’t control my urge and this is really causing me pains. I have tried my best to stay out of sex but it’s not working. I need help’
I have handled cases in times past but I really felt her pain when she later called me explaining how she has been having sex with her cousins on a daily basis and sometimes with her friends (her parents are ignorant of this). After talking to her for sometime I asked if she could make a commitment to abstain from sex for the next 7days only for her to tell me she wouldn’t be able to keep to that commitment. We eventually agreed to a 48hour abstinence which I believed she kept.
Read the rest of this entry »
The woman within & the woman without – 3
The woman within and the woman without 3
It is a great day for the Nigerian families I believe and it is even a better day for the Nigerian women but I want our women to understand that you must become both the woman within and the woman without to effectively keep your man in this age and time. We know every man must learn to be self controlled in this age and time but our women must also play their own part.
I will try and round up this series today but before I do, I think I will try and start a series on comprehensive sex education with you from next week. The DVD as you know is finally out and I am happy it is already assisting a couple of families. I know some of you have expressed your concern about its availability and that is why you can get it on-line and get it delivered to you directly in any part of Nigeria.
Let’s try and round up with this series
7. While the woman within has an unpredictable environment; the woman without has a very predictable environment – I have heard some men complain of their inability to predict their women because of unstable moods. One man was so furious about the whole thing that he said ‘I simply can’t understand a woman that has become a god that must be worshipped. She gets angry without reason and I keep wondering when she will outgrow this childish attitude after 5years of marriage’. The woman without on the other hand has a fairly stable environment that she does everything to please the man even if she has to pretend. The man knows that she must smile on sighting him, run into his arms and shower him with encomium. She creates an environment that gives him the opportunity to live large and asserts his ego.
8. While the woman within shares control; the woman without gives him control – It has been said that we sometimes have to stoop to conquer and that is the strength of the woman without. The 21st century woman especially shares control especially since the two of them are working class and possibly earns more than the man. So you have a situation where the man even collects money from the woman within to give to the one that gives him control. The woman without irrespective of her status gives him control. She allows him to be in charge of everything and hardly ever argues with him. With her the man is king and lord and she accepts that. But the irony of the whole matter is that in giving him control is her strength in controlling him and that is why her requests are easily granted.
While I am not encouraging men to run after the women outside because such a woman eventually destroys you and whatever you have left behind when you are gone. I must however say to women whose homes are still intact that you need to do more than you are doing at the moment.
The question I ask most women who come to report their husbands is ‘Doesn’t he deserve to do extra-marital’? this may sound so harsh but it is a question of responsibility. What deposits have you made for him to continually run after you. Some of us have done so much by our own standard without bothering to find out his basic needs and the way he wants them met. The goal I set for every woman is to get to that level where your man is not just your best friend but have gotten to a level where he is free to express his feelings without any fear of being misunderstood.
There is not charm that the woman outside have that is not present in you so why allow another person beat you to what is truly yours. So I advice all the ‘Cadillacs’ packed at home to ‘unpark’ themselves and begin to utilize all their features to function like a true ‘Cadillacs’ and with that you would have effectively defeated the ‘Okadas’ on the street posing like Cadillac. Please go ahead be the woman within and the woman without. Set a record that no other woman outside can defeat and do it cheerfully. You have the power
You can, you must and I know you will. I see you smile. Please feel very free to talk to me on 08037269483.
The woman within and the woman without 2
The woman within and the woman without 2
I am happy that a lot of women agreed with what we started the last time and I am more excited that you are willing to change and become both the woman within and the woman outside which is the key to keeping any man to yourself forever. some of you called to appreciate the write up but i would appreciate it if you can please leave your comments on the blog. God bless you
Read the rest of this entry »